two jobs

I believe there are two main jobs that a mom has. They are:

1. Protect our children

2. Teach our children to love one another

Which of these two jobs is more important? Are they equal?

I have recently finished a book called "Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet" by Jamie Ford. The anti protagonist is Henry Lee's father. The setting of the story takes place in early 1940 WWII in China and Japan town, Seattle, WA. The father is a Chinese nationalist and very fearful of people mistaking his son to be Japanese. He requires Henry to wear a pin that says "I am Chinese" and sends him to a school with white children. He also forbids him to associate with the Japanese. This boy disobeys his father and befriends a Japanese girl named Keiko Okabe. At one point in the story Henry even hides Keiko's family heirlooms in his house. A severe crime. He father finds out and disowns his son.

In the book this father is portrayed as a unloving, heartless man. But is he really? I believe he was a scared and over protective parent who wanted to protect his son. Many Americans, at this time, mistook Chinese for Japanese. Associating with them could bring harm to his son and their family.

Should we praise Henry for disobeying his father? Was his father trying to protect Henry or was he merely unkind and intolerant? Perhaps he could be viewed as simply being focused on his family's safety. Does this justify his behavior?

I don't face this particular challenge but still have a strong desire to protect my children from situations I perceive as dangerous. What about the woman/man who I pass in the grocery store who looks at my child and gives me the creeps? The stranger who comes to my door selling something? The neighbor across the street who has a drinking problem? Don't I also send the message, "Stay away, stay far away. I am protecting you?" So, is Henry's father really a heartless, unloving man? Are we, if we act like Henry's father?

little boxes

Those who know me know that I like boxes. I love to fit things into boxes and label them. I remember one day when I was younger my girl friend had a pair of shoes laying on the floor. There was also a box on the floor. I was going to fit those shoes into that box. I just knew they would fit. I tried hard, then my friend gave me a odd look of crazy so I stopped. Now, I not only like tangible boxes but also like them in a figurative way. Right now my four year old is in that frame of mind. He is always trying to figure out which box, folder or category that his new found information fits into. Asking question after question to figure out, "How does this fit?" The past few weeks he has been frustrated about a "pair of shoes" that just doesn't fit.

He was invited to a friend's birthday party on Sunday. Our family has made the choice that Sundays are family and church days and not friend's birthday party days. He knows that but it was his best friend. What was he going to do? He decided he was going to think about it. The next day his conclusion was to call the friend's mother and tell them to just change the party. His friend's mom was just confused he must tell her that Sundays are not birthday party days! I informed my four year old that his friend's family has not made that choice. Then my son got what my sister and brother call a "brain overload." He just freezes, makes a weird face and tries to process.

So, how do we teach our kids that their values and the way they live their lives does not have to be the same as everyone else? How do we teach our kids that, no matter what, we still stick to our values? Sometimes the labels on our boxes should change and sometimes they just should not. It's okay that we are not all the same.

Goals

I have been pondering about goals recently. We all have goals of different levels.

Little daily goals- getting dishes in dishwasher, doing laundry before it gets crazy, read for my book club, be nice to my kids, eat something health- just one thing.

Bigger goals- get something published. In a real publication

But as I am writing my list I keep thinking of lots of goals, then erasing them. So it's come down to this. I don't want to be really good at one thing. I want to be versed in everything. Like A.J Jacobs who wrote the book. "The Know-it-All" . It's about a man who read the Encyclopedia Britannica . And all the interesting info he learned.

My list of current I want to know more about

blogs

the history of the US

the history of the World

Japanese internment camps during WWii

how to make my own pasta

gardening

re purposing furniture

how to read the nutrition facts on the side of food boxes

how to play Mario Brothers so I can help my child get past level one.

what is the best cleaning product to make for less scrubbing on my stove top

do graphic design

make my house look shabby chic and not shabby.

1st grade mom

I have decided that in terms of the mom schooling I've made it to the 1st grade. I think I have some of the basic concepts down. How to change a diaper. When they come in with a bad dream, they just need a quick cuddle, Preston likes the nook on my arm, or hand on his head as security when he is sleeping with me. Always, always have drinks with lids on them. Expect the worst with food in the car. The perfect storm will always happen. Train, cars, and other tv show characters. Always check to see if kids have shoes on before we get into the car.

Now, the other day my children and I were playing in the backyard. My son was breaking a rule of some sort and I was giving him his warning : "If you continue doing ____, then you will get a time out" 4 year old says "ok. I was getting hot and bored anyways" He did _____. Then we went inside had timeout then on with life. I hope this is on the lesson plan soon. What do I do?

Lesson plan wish list #2. How to make my boys stand next to me or in stroller in the bank, at the grocery store, during swim lessons ect.. Bank scene: you can image: me, talking to the teller kids, running around everywhere teller, taking forever .

Swim lessons. I am one of 3 moms who has dared to have multiple children, and bring them in the pool. One lady has an infant. Easy kid stays put. 2nd lady has twins about 2ish. Just sit in a stroller. Never heard them say a peep. My two year old is up and down and all around. Seriously. I want to graduate to 2nd grade. What's the secret. Twin 2 year old boys. quite and in stroller.............. incomprehensible -- like quantum physics

Favorite Holiday

Why I love 4th of July-

I must say that the 4th of july is by far my favorite holiday. I love the patriotic feeling and knowing that I am free. I enjoy reflecting on all the sacrifices that were made to make this country great. I love the fact that today is a family day- with little stress involved. I don't have to purchase anything, thus eliminating stress of cost, stores, will they like it.... I don't have to slave in the kitchen all day. Or do dishes. BBQ and paper plates are the dishware of choice. The day is normally filled with swimming, a movie, or outdoor recreation. Then its fireworks. All free entertainment in my city. AND MY KIDS LOVE IT!!! Its a holiday where you can get together with extended family, but no biggie if you don't. It's just the perfect holiday. No stress family day. So thank you for all the wonderful men and woman who have, do, and will continue to make this country free and allow me to celebrate the 4th of July.