why is it?

Why is it that the dinner that you spend the most on is the dinner that your children refuse to eat? Tonight, I made pizza. No I did not call up the pizza man. I actually made pizza. I did cheat and buy the dough; next time I am making it. But I did make the pesto sauce from basil, that I grew, and garlic, pine nuts, olive oil, salt and pepper. I cooked the chicken, cut up grapes and grated cheese. Boiled an artichoke for a side, and made a salad. Dinner time came and the kids had other plans, and then decided they wanted pineapple, not grapes on their pizza. It became a battle of how many bites to eat, what size of bite, what would and would not happen if they did take bites.................. !! Was it worth the effort? YES. Super yummie dinner. Maybe on these nights I should just let them watch their movie and I can enjoy my pizza in peace.

Dreams deferred

The other day, I came up with a great way to make some extra money and start up a little business. I was very excited about it. The next day I was so excited that I spent all day on the phone, researching products, consulting with my father, and all the other tasks it would take to start up this little project. My father was excited about, and thought that if I worked really hard it was something that could actually be a la git business in a few years. I must say I was really excited about it. I had big dreams and high hopes for my business. Deep down I have always thought it would be fun to be in charge of a company, have clients, have people who want my products, and just be successful in the business world. In the midst of all this excitement I got ahead of myself and even started planning how much time this would take. I noticed it would take a lot of my time. It would be a big undertaking- but I was ready. Those nights of sleep and reading- GONE!! Then my child came up to me with his arm full of toys and his big sad brown eyes and said. “Are you still working, you have been working a long long time, and I want you to come and play with me”

Slap in my face. He was right. All day I have been putting him off. Making him entertain himself. And it made me realize the other dream that I have. To be a mom. To be a great mom. One who is blessed to be able to stay home with the kids and play and raise them. I remembered that our family has made great sacrifices so that I can stay home. It is an important job and needs my full attention. I am living my dream and I need to appreciate that.

I must say I was disappointed. I knew I could not do both- and I had to defer that dream. I am reminded of a poem by Langston Hughes.

A Dream Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up


like a raisin in the sun? 


Or fester like a sore—


And then run? 


Does it stink like rotten meat? 


Or crust and sugar over-- 


like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags


like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

I might be deferring one dream, but get to live another. Maybe it will just crust over a get sweet. Only time will tell.

I am being the mom I want and need to be and giving up, for now, the successful businesswoman I want to be.

Please share your thoughts on the poem, or a dream deferred or you are living.

1st sunday- gratitude day

Today is the first Sunday of the month. I like to dedicate this day for my attitude of gratitude. Now my list can go on and on, but that would be way to long. Here are my top ten of today.

1. My Preston gives hugs and cuddles any moment he can. He wakes up in the morning and just starts the day with a HUGH hug. Precious

2. My husband will make dinner for me out of whatever leftovers I pull out of fridge and don't know how to make taste good again.

3. Noah, with out fail, will be good whenever I REALLY need him to be good. - Not so much when I would just like it. On these days I don't even tell him or bribe him. Somehow he just knows. Amazing.

4. I love that I live in California and in October I can sit outside on my grass, read a book, watch my kids play, and take a quick catnap.

5. I have modern convinces of tv, internet, cell phone, electricity, ect...

6. I get to be a stay at home mom. I love my job!

7. I have great friends who I can call on a whim and they will rearrange their lives for me.

8. My grandpa who taught me the correct way to pop popcorn (0n the stove). Had a huge bowl today.

9. That fall is coming and I have the cutest pumpkin on my front door that has a curly stem and make me smile. I love pumpkins

10. My kids have a definite sibling love/ competitive relationship but at the end of the day they both curl up in bed, listen to me read stories, and then give each other hugs and kisses with no reminders. I am sure that won't last forever. I have to cherish it know.

disassemble for a new perspective

This was suppose to post on the 1st but didn't. Sorry

Attention parents- If you ever in your life imagined how a Thomas the Tank Engine works, or a race car, or really any toy that has screws I am your woman. My son has reverted back to the phase of taking everything apart. Yes, I did say revert back, which means he has done this before. ACKKKKK!!! Now this is what happens.

1. He finds a screw driver.

2. Disassembles the helpless victim.

3. Attempts to put it back together. Sometimes it does and sometime it doesn't.

4. Brings me the pieces to put it back together. Umm... Why in the world would I know how to put that back together.

5. We try to figure it out and sometimes we do.

6. Many times we don't because the pieces are scattered - so we look for the pieces. Sometimes we look for a really really long time.

7. When the pieces are just not findable I console my son because he has just lost a friend and failed.

To be the parent I want to be I need to learn to think positive.

My child is learning.........

- eye hand coordination

- how things work

- learning how to be a mechanic

- shape placement

- consequences

- figuring out about the world around him instead of just giving up and thinking oh I cant do this so I wont.

So, what I should be doing is taking lessons from him. When I want to know how something works, whether it be a toy, or a personal dilemma or a challenge that we have no idea how to overcome. Just get out my screwdriver and take it apart. Spread all the pieces around the house. Think about it in a different perspective. Then learn that I might have to ask someone to help me put the pieces back together. And know that sometimes they wont. That "Thomas the Tank Engine" just might not be fixable.