Dreams deferred

The other day, I came up with a great way to make some extra money and start up a little business. I was very excited about it. The next day I was so excited that I spent all day on the phone, researching products, consulting with my father, and all the other tasks it would take to start up this little project. My father was excited about, and thought that if I worked really hard it was something that could actually be a la git business in a few years. I must say I was really excited about it. I had big dreams and high hopes for my business. Deep down I have always thought it would be fun to be in charge of a company, have clients, have people who want my products, and just be successful in the business world. In the midst of all this excitement I got ahead of myself and even started planning how much time this would take. I noticed it would take a lot of my time. It would be a big undertaking- but I was ready. Those nights of sleep and reading- GONE!! Then my child came up to me with his arm full of toys and his big sad brown eyes and said. “Are you still working, you have been working a long long time, and I want you to come and play with me”

Slap in my face. He was right. All day I have been putting him off. Making him entertain himself. And it made me realize the other dream that I have. To be a mom. To be a great mom. One who is blessed to be able to stay home with the kids and play and raise them. I remembered that our family has made great sacrifices so that I can stay home. It is an important job and needs my full attention. I am living my dream and I need to appreciate that.

I must say I was disappointed. I knew I could not do both- and I had to defer that dream. I am reminded of a poem by Langston Hughes.

A Dream Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up


like a raisin in the sun? 


Or fester like a sore—


And then run? 


Does it stink like rotten meat? 


Or crust and sugar over-- 


like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags


like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

I might be deferring one dream, but get to live another. Maybe it will just crust over a get sweet. Only time will tell.

I am being the mom I want and need to be and giving up, for now, the successful businesswoman I want to be.

Please share your thoughts on the poem, or a dream deferred or you are living.